Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Insecurity and the Pounce


Today is my first post as part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Alex over at Alex J. Cavanaugh started this group as a safe haven for writers to offer encouragement and support to one another.

Now...which insecurity do I start with?? :-)

When I heard about this group, it was so refreshing. I have come to learn that truly happy, successful people are the most humble, helpful people. It is these type of people that I would like to surround myself with. I think when we can admit our insecurities, let go of the ego...that is when true happiness prospers. People with egos, people that are afraid or use excuses to not follow their own dreams and judge...seem to crumble from the inside out and destroy only themselves.

When I started on this path and decided to write a book. There have been people that actually laughed or looked at me like...how could you write a book. One of my big insecurities even with how far I have come is that I will start believing the naysayers. Those comments playing over in my head.  Right now it is part of the fuel that burns the fire inside me to follow my dreams. My brain is able to look at those comments and people and know that it is their insecurity or unhappiness that causes that reaction...it still hurts my heart.

On a positive note...I am incredibly thankful for the people that believe in me and support me.

What is your reaction to people that pounce? How do you keep the noise out and focus on your dreams?

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free. ~Jim Morrison


Finding beauty in the every day will continue tomorrow! 

29 comments:

  1. Love this one, TB! I know too many people that just can't admit they have some insecurities. The ego is a road block. We all have insecurities that need to be dealt with. Excellent blog, my dear!

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  2. Slowly but surely, I have rid myself of people in my life who don't support me following my dreams. If there are family members, however, that is much more difficult. Sounds like you are doing the right thing by learning to tune them out and recognize it.
    Karen

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    1. Yes...same here. Slowly but surely. Thank you so much.

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  3. People do seem to look at the floor and change the subject when I tell them I am a writer - and it is particularly bad in the UK. Even when you want to tell them that you have had some success they more or less say 'well yes, but when are you going to get a proper job'. In France I do not seem to get this reaction - they appear to embrace 'artists' as valued members of society with valid occupations. Or maybe its just that I am a foreigner and that makes it acceptable? Either way it is easier for me to be a writer abroad than at home. Guess where I am spending the summer?!
    Emma

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  4. Even though I've had short stories published in women's magazines, I still find the word 'writer' sticks in my throat as though I don't deserve it because I haven't written a novel yet! I guess that's what I think other people will think, too. In my heart I'm a writer first and a teaching assistant second, but I always describe myself the opposite way around when people ask! Great post!

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    1. Thank you, LindaK. I so hear you. I think we should start waking up every morning and saying out loud...I am a WRITER! :-)

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  5. I just visited Alex's site. This is a good first post for the IWSP. I haven't joined it yet. I know exactly how you feel. People who aren't writers don't take us seriously. It does hurt. Bad. I'm so glad you're continuing to follow your dreams and not letting those naysayers stop you. One thing I love about blogging is the support the writing community offers to each other. It really does make a difference, doesn't it? Have a great day, Tracy!

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    1. Thank you so much, Lynn. It so totally does makes a difference! You have a great day too!

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  6. Great blog today, Tracy! I have been feeling the call to write as well and feel VERY insecure and not up to the challenge...where do I start, what will it look like, is it a workbook, work of fiction or...? God has some plans for me and it is clear that I need to start working on this. I have been reading a book by Dr. Cindy Trimm called the "40 Day Soul Fast" that helps look at the things that keep us "out of focus" from the inside-out. I love this quote from the book I read last night, "God has the power to break through the clutter that masks your identity, distracts your focus, and keeps you from the abundant life that Jesus died to provide." It's a daily challenge! Thanks for posting and affirming that we can say no to the naysayers and shut out the noise in our own heads if only we BELIEVE! Think big and take hold of all that God has planned for you. Blessings! Jer 29:11.

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    1. Thank you very much, Lisa. :-) You so should go for it! Sometimes, well almost all the time...I tend to over think things. Don't even think about what it will look like...just start writing. This is a beautiful comment and I appreciate it.

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  7. I came to the Caribbean from Idaho, where there were always problems with unwanted wildlife encroachment. That means big cats and wolves that come to eat your livestock (I was breeding horses there). As in many other unfortunate situations these predators were 'protected'. Anyway in Idaho the ranchers live by the 3-S's. Shoot, Shovel and Shut-up. It could work for naysayers. Just sayin'. **wink*wink**

    Seriously, it's a problem, especially when the naysayers share your last name. Just gotta block em out and go on. I got a critique,from a woman in a writing groups once that was so hurtful, it made me want to succeed. I swear, I'm gonna dedicate a book to her one day.

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  8. You silence those saying you can't do something by doing it!
    Besides, they are just jealous you are pursing your dream. Takes away their excuses as to why they aren't.

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  9. The quote at the end really knit it all together. Facing fears is what forces us to grow and, ultimately, fit into the huge shoes we were meant to wear. My favorite quote is by Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Wow. Really? Talk about insecure ;)

    Great post! You can DO it!!
    Jen

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  10. Lovely Tracy Jo!! IGNORE adversity!! Tell these naysayers to speak to your lovely hand! You listen to your muse - only she can be forthright and no-one else!
    :-)

    Take care
    x

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  11. I'm very vulnerable to the naysayers. Knowing this, my solution is to not associate with them if I don't have to. I think you're right that it's their insecurity that makes them do it, but I don't want their negativity in my life. My dream sometimes feels to fragile for that kind of pressure. :)

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  12. Hi Tracy Jo! Welcome to the IWSG! (I'm a new follower.) You'll find this the perfect place to surround yourself with just those kind of people. Everyone in the IWSG is generous and talented and so incredibly supportive. I hope you find all that here, just as I did.

    You'll find your fears are universal and we all need help every once in a while dealing with those insecurities. As for pouncers, non-writers just don't get it, and they never will. Until they become one, too, of course. My friends and family have been supportive mostly, but they don't really care about my writing, only that I'm happy. If I want support in my writing, I come here and to all my Bloggy buddies. They totally get me and my writing. I ignore everyone else!

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  13. Most writers must be riddled with insecurities, but in a way, it's kinda comforting to realize that. Even writers I consider brilliant have self-doubts and sometimes think their work is crapola ... so it's OKAY if you or I harbor those same self-doubts. But we can certainly choose to ignore the naysayers, too. We have enough of our own insecurities burning inside of us to allow others to throw gasoline on them.

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    1. It is so comforting. That is what I love about this community too...seeing that all of us feel the same way. EXACTLY about the gasoline. It is hard to believe in yourself and when you have people trying to pull you down, even harder. It feels like I am shedding skin, the bad stuff as I continue to drown out those voices and move forward!

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  14. I could have written this story. I think we just have to push the negativity aside and move forward with a smile. If we don't, we'll drown.

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    1. You are so right. Here is to standing tall with a smile today!

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  15. I did not focus on my dreams for a long time as I internalized my family and friend's visions of myself. It was so freeing one day to just stop listening and take a risk. Who could it hurt as long as I kept up appearances and didn't miss any bill payments.

    Creating a blog and interracting with people who think like me, have the same fears and internal tapes, has helped me learn respect for myself - the differences I'm too often ashamed of.

    I'm glad you started blogging and have some support for your talents and dreams. I watched you A-Z video and was thoroughly entertained. A nice way to meet you and your husband :)

    Thanks for sharing yourself today.

    .......dhole

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  16. I believe in you. You are brave, talented, and know you will succeed. Keep on that positive road you have mapped out. It will take you places.

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    1. Thank you so much. :-) I will and do believe more than ever that I am on the right path. Your comment means a lot. Hugs!

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  17. Honestly, before I got an agent and publishing deal, I didn't talk openly about my writing unless I really considered that person a friend. I couldn't deal with the "pounce."

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  18. Sounds like an incredible book! It's funny because I think the biggest naysayer is usually myself so when I can silence THAT voice and get over my own dream busters then I seem to go for it.

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  19. That's one reason that until I gain some traction and validation for my writing, I don't talk about it openly very often. I don't give them a chance to pounce! :)

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  20. With ya on this one, Tracy Jo. I've become extremely careful who I talk about my writing with. I've found strangers are much nicer than family! Welcome to IWSG. :))

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  21. Oh, the people that pounce. I love that description! They're actually the #1 reason I didn't tell anybody for so long that I was writing books. When I finally did, though, I found this community, and it's been so awesome. Here's to a super, supportive circle of writers~ :o) <3

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